Yesterday was a beautiful Mother's Day, and I felt so grateful through every hour of my Sunday. Seriously. I remember back, years ago, pre-baby girl, when I'd watch other parents with their children and wonder if I'd ever know what it meant to be a parent. Now, here I am, and it's more than I ever dreamed it could be; scarier, fuller, wondrous, amazing, filled-to-the-brim heart magic. I awoke to cards on the table, gifts from my daughter, a new table and chair out in the garden to make my morning coffee more comfortable (usually I sit on the step outside the garage, which is okay too). I spent a relatively lazy day reading and taking the hours slowly. I spent a little time with McGregor goose, who thoughtfully wandered into our yard a little after noontime, warming my heart with his feathery affection. This affection is not given lightly, and I don't take it for granted. For the most part, he's given to attacking anyone who comes around me, and it took me a long while to gain his trust myself. He's sweet, though, and looks almost exactly like a small statue I bought years ago in Home Goods, a goose who sits by our hearth. I bought it because I was wildly attracted to it for some reason (I do love swans, so maybe the similarity motivated me to bring it home), but I think it funny that now we have an actual goose living in the lake behind our house, who has become a friend of sorts. He has helped me through some tough times, and I think it's important to remember on Mother's Day that Moms come in all forms. Some of us are mothers to human children, some are mamas to animal children, and some are mothers to the earth. Some are moms to all of these things. I feel sometimes like the desire to nurture could be an earth saving quality, if more folks could embrace that side of themselves. As well, if we look at nature as a mother, who cares for us and benefits greatly from our affection and attention, we might be slower to engage in devastating earth practices. Anyway, our goose has connected me more deeply to the land directly around our home, and I needed this rootedness as much as I think McGregor needed a friend after his companion goose mysteriously passed away about a year ago. Most of the people around me know that, in my heart, I want to return to New England, to the mountains, woods, and cooler climate. McGregor has helped me to stay in the moment more, to appreciate what is directly in front of me, right here in my own back yard. He's helped me to heal from hurts nobody else has been able to reach, something a mother does; the earth Mother has soothed my soul through this fierce but also gentle creature, and for that I'm grateful.
Yesterday concluded with a satisfying dinner with my family at The Cheesecake Factory, accompanied by a friend of my daughter. Their giggles and general silliness through dinner deepened my happiness at being a part of the parenting scene. I've watched both girls grow over the past few years, awed by how quickly the time passes and at how much kids change in the early years of their lives. This is truly a journey I'm glad to be a part of.
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